wake up [entries|friends|calendar] plain jane jones [ userinfo | livejournal userinfo ] [ calendar | livejournal calendar ]

save my skin! i need a medic. [25 Nov 2009|09:22pm] started signing in to livejournal again because of the indie exchange (join it to find almost any album you've ever wanted) and it started me poking around here again. jesus christ, am i glad i don't take shit as seriously as i did when i was 16, 17. how funny was i? everything was like life or death. oh well, lesson learned. "the one important thing i have learnt over the years is the difference between taking one's work seriously and taking oneself seriously. the first is imperative and the second disastrous." -dame margot fonteyn write.

[17 Jan 2009|01:37am] what would my thought process be like if i didn't use language? what if language did not exist as we know it? what if we communicated wordlessly? if inter-species communication came easy to us? write.

[01 Oct 2008|08:44pm] SECURRRITY write.

a few that elicited 10+ seconds of loud hearty obnoxious laughter [13 Apr 2008|12:31pm] if you aren't familiar with these, you're supposed to read the quote first, then read the title. Like Deciding to Scare the Shit Out of My Own Kids Dad walking and holding hands of nine and ten year old daughters: Do you know what the abyss is? It's when you stare into nothing and nothing stares back at you. Daughters: [bewildered silence]. Dad: Do you understand? I want you to see that it's a state of mind. And Don't You Dare Insult Crack Taxi driver to colleague: Man, you know I don't smoke that marijuana. How could you say that? It doesn't do anything for me. So, I smoke crack. [turns to a young woman with bags] Want a taxi? Young woman: No, especially if you smoke crack. Taxi driver: It doesn't matter what I smoke. If you can't afford a taxi, just say that. Don't insult me. What They Say About Ignorance Really Isn't True Blonde girl, laughing hysterically: I mean I didn't even think that was possible! Brunette friend, laughing hysterically: Thank god they're not our friends! Blonde girl, suddenly serious: People must think we're so happy. But we're so unhappy. Love, the Sexually-Transmitted Disease Nobody Talks About Guy: I can understand her sleeping with my best friend on my couch and all... Girl: But the falling in love thing? That's just rude! I Was Until You Told That Story Teen girl: So somehow we all ended up in our underwear, then Katie suggested Truth or Dare. That was weird. I had to give her a lap dance, and Sarah had to lick my tits, and freaky stuff like that. It was more like some lesbian orgy than a sleepover. Teen guy: That sounds... so hot. Teen girl: Oh my God, I thought you were gay! I Prefer Mutes, But That's Not Really a Fetish Businessman: ...and once word gets out that you like to fuck girls with no legs, everybody thinks you're a freak! Crony: Yeah, I bet. Businessman: I'll send you the pictures. (i think the best part about that one is that it labels his colleague as his crony, hahahahah) Wednesday One-liners Like Cuckoo Clocks Crazy codger: These are the pills they give me at the doctor's. Oh, my goodness. Oh, my goodness! They turn my blood to stone. I have need other blood to make up for it...Kangaroo blood! And elephant blood. Kangaroo blood and elephant blood. Oh, I'm telling you. How long do I have to wait to open an account? For Everything Else, There's MasterCard? Guy #1: Remember that time last week when I like fucking killed Frank? Guy #2: Huh? Guy #1: When I fucking killed Frank? Guy #2: Who? Guy #1: Frank. Guy #2: Oh, ha, ha! Priceless. (a conversation between pat bateman's multiple personalities?) I Only Date Action Figures Where: Time Square Toys R Us Cashier: May I have your phone number, starting with the area code, please? Customer: You're not my type. 2 comments|write.

[29 Dec 2005|11:28am] </a> new journal. already added friends from old journal. if i don't already have you, comment. 5 comments|write.

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